Posts Tagged ‘Dazed’

(Just a forewarning, yes, this is another blog post about the holidays. You’ve been warned.)

Well it’s true. It’s officially the holiday season, or, how I prefer to refer to it, the holidaze. As each year goes by it seems I feel less and less prepared for that Thanksgiving feast. While I bitch and moan about all the Christmas nonsense that retailers try to shove down my throat starting before I have even eaten the last piece of Halloween candy, once Thanksgiving is here and gone, it’s on. I can’t bitch no more. Christmas is here, or just around the corner, and for the last several years anyways, it never quite feels like it should be Christmas. As each year goes by I hear myself saying, “But it just doesn’t seem like Christmastime.” Or, “Crap, where did October go again?” I can remember being younger and saying, “Wow, time sure does seem to be going by so fast,” and someone older than me would say, “Ya. Just you wait. It goes by even faster once you’re older.” So, I guess that means I’m getting older because I honestly don’t know where the last six months of my life have gone. (Well, I mean, yes, I do know where they have gone. Every ounce of my energy and attention has gone into the most amazing little boy, who I happened to birth only 4 months ago. I wouldn’t change that for anything but still, where did those months go?)

So, I guess that brings me back to the holidays. This is going to be R’s first Christmas. I know that he is much too young to really have any idea about what all the fuss is about but nonetheless, it still is his first Christmas. It is kind of a big deal. In being his first Christmas, I feel I should be a bit more in the holiday spirit. But, ugh, it just doesn’t seem like Christmas! And I’m starting to wonder, will it feel like Christmas at all this year?

I am normally a pretty festive holiday person. To my husband’s dismay, I like to put up the tree, hang our stockings, hang the wreath and whatnot. I’m the one that climbs the ladder and hangs the lights up on the house. This year so far all I can think of when I think of lights is the PG&E bill. Ugh, and I even upgraded last year to the fancy new energy efficient LED lights too. We also managed to kill our living, beautiful Colorado Blue Spruce tree that we bought last year. Well, this summer’s hot, hot heat and a lack of us watering it killed the poor beauty. So now we don’t even have a tree to bring in. I know where we can get one, don’t get me wrong, but there is something very depressing about seeing the skeleton of that beautiful tree still sitting in the yard. (Note to self: Put that bitch in the composter already! That will make it less depressing!)

There always seems to be a lot of stress surrounding Christmas. From buying people presents. Did I find the perfect thing? To the actual days themselves. Here, there, and everywhere are we! Note the dazed and tired look on my face, hence holidaze. This year I just don’t know if I have it in it me. I want to though, I really do. I want to give my baby boy a wonderful Christmas. Even if the only way he’ll ever remember it is through pictures we show him when he’s older. But at this rate will it happen? I honestly don’t know. This whole bah humbug vibe I got going on just ain’t my thang, so I do hope I can snap out of it. It is only the 2nd of December so I guess I have, oh, well, a week or so to make up my mind. Let’s just see how dazed I get this year.


Read Full Post »